Let's make one thing clear. I'm no girls scout leader. If I found myself lost in the woods, I would probably struggle to survive.
My map reading skills, no longer developed since my brothers 11th birthday where my Mother set up a scavenger hunt for all his friends across our local mountain top. I'm now at the mercy of Google maps and
GPS navigation and the need to find North has become obsolete in my life.
I wanted to write this article today because I know what it feels like to be directionless, empty and lost. I wanted to bring awareness and a little encouragement into the lives of people who are still stumbling along a path without the knowledge of their inner compass or purpose.
2012-2014 I had come to a point in my life where I had accepted that my music wasn't going to go anywhere, so I started studying graphic design. Trying to find a way to get an education and find a "regular job" so I could continue living the temporary "normal life" I happened to be living at the time. I started to live for the weekend, drinking once a week with my girlfriends and catching up for lunches to talk about boys and gossip.
I splashed in my shallows, dancing upon my surface, unknowingly unaware of the true purpose of my existence. I felt hollow and directionless. My inner compass spinning out of control. I was lost, living the same day on repeat. I would wake up and like the pin on a record player; I would play the same song. It made me happy, my body would groove to the beat, it was light, easy, I knew all the words off by heart. But just like every favourite song, it becomes dull, overdone and I desired to skip to a new sound.
In April 2014, I met a rare like-minded spirit which set my soul on fire and reminded what it was like to dream again. I didn't realise I was lost until I had found myself. I didn't realise I was hungry to express myself through music until I started to create again. I didn't realise that I was off my path until I come back to walk upon that long forgotten yellow painted cobblestone leading me to my Oz.
I believe that in our life we are given little hints, guiding us to be the person we have the potential to be. I believe that each and every one of us is given hidden talents. I believe it is a part of our awakening to find and become our full potential, empower ourselves, let our light shine bright and bless the world with a little more magic.
For me, I find it very easy to forget "my North," when a man comes into my life who's compass reads differently to mine. I'm such a passionate being, and my dreamy romanticism lingers like smoke in my eyes and only until I lose myself, and he realises I'm only desirable when I follow
"my North." As our hands become further from reach, and he continues his journey on a different road, leading to another place, I run behind with my dreams falling out of my duffel bag and laying like shrapnel, assuring him "I don't need them." I then kick myself, gather my things, humbled, and disappointed with no choice but to be off in my true direction once again. I'm slowly getting better at seeing and accepting this before I make that last desperate plea in the name of love.
I am so blessed to have found my true passion in music at such a young age. I know I was tip-toeing around something very special, music is my gravity. However over the last few years, I'm still discovering a deeper meaning to my life. I'm following the whispers of desire, learning to draw, photography and writing these blogs. The little whispers of "I'd love to write a song one day" when I was six, was guiding me to where I am today. Writing these blogs have been inspiring as I've watched my writing develop and now desire to one day write a book on spirituality and self-awareness. If I ever do that is another story, however, I have heard the whisper directing me, encouraging me to continue finding my voice.
I believe that no matter where we are, how bad things are or how lost we feel, always have comfort that we are always exactly where we are meant to be. I believe it's important to take the time to invest in our spirit and feed our soul what it is hungry for. Today is the day to listen, start that book or blog, start that project, begin that gym program. We are all being called and a year from now we would have wished we have started today. The only way is North. We can’t miss it when we listen to our heart.