This week I celebrated my 28th Birthday. I don't have the colour to splash or the gems to be-dazzle an ordinary day.
The air was fresh. The leaves were falling from the dry brittle trees. The sun beamed an autumn ray, as an icy wind whisked through the holes of my green knitted jumper.
My one and only was taking me for a brunch date, something we never take the time to do as we were both in reasonably high spirits. My one and only, of course, is my Mother Julie aka"J-Bags". (In a family board game night, "J-Bags" became Mum's new nickname and it stuck).
The rest of the day I spent alone, pottering about the house and catching up on some work. I told you no colour.
Reflecting on my last five challenging years in particular I wanted to share with you a few little lessons that I have learnt. At age 23, a folk presented in the road on my journey. I could chose a life of existence or a life of living. Living meant awakening. This is what I believe.
One of the greatest lessons I have learnt in my 27th year was that I am always exactly where I am meant to be. There was a sense of surrender. I wasn't fighting to make things happen. I just walked through doors whenever they presented. I trusted in myself and knew the universe would provide.
After years of fighting to be heard with my music and fighting to make relationships work. This rang true in Nashville last year. I surrendered, I was so at peace not expecting anything all I knew was I was exactly where I was meant to be and the opportunity presented.
I've learned that what we don't like in others is just a reflection of what we don't like in ourselves. I'm not talking about acquaintances that spend their life trying to get Instagram likes (that pisses me off) or those moody people that you don't know if they like you or hate you every other day (I can't be bothered wasting my energy with these people).
2 8 T O D A Y // May we continue to evolve and become our best selves! This last year I've learnt that "my best" is good enough, failure is a ticket to a new adventure and that taking risks shouldn't be feared but embraced! I've spread my wings, found my truest self and have continued to take positive steps towards my purpose here on earth! Thank you to the ones who have opened your hearts to me, electrified my mind, touched my soul and shared a little place in our existence — in Gunnedah, New South Wales.
I'm talking about those people who have connected with you deeply. They disappointed you, challenge you or hurt you in some way. Our resentment towards that person makes us notice so many things we dislike about them. Observe them, try to be kind. If you can remove yourself enough, you will see your own insecurity, flaws, and imperfections. You will also find that person to be a wonderful teacher, as they leave your life be sure to bless them for everything you have learnt.
The people on my list have taught me so much, despite the challenge, and heartache. I choose now to look at them with love rather than hate. Seeing my flaws in them was incredibly confronting and I continue to make myself a better person because of their lessons.
I've learnt that doing my best IS good enough. I no longer beat myself up over mistakes. It's just the universe saying "It's ok, it wasn't meant to work out that way." Knowing this, my best changes due to conditions. My best on a sick day is still my best. My best on a day when the big bad wolf is whispering darkness in my mind, eating my self-esteem is still my best. We may not always be 100%, but we should always be our best.
Failure doesn't even exist. It's a myth. You have the ability to do anything you desire. Failure is just a roadblock, telling you to change lanes. Something better is coming, trust yourself. The moment we let failure dictate our worth is when everything falls to pieces.
I struggle to hold myself together in these times. I typically lay in bed for two weeks, with high levels of anxiety unable to eat without being sick. I'm fierce. Determined not to show my weakness I cut people out of my life, pretend I'm not disappointed. But in truth, I'm sensitive, and my hurt is soul deep. Thankfully my ability to snap out of it is becoming easier for me.
Knowing that failure isn't real this has given me the faith to take risks. What is there to be afraid of? Two weeks in bed feeling sorry for myself? Small price to pay, for taking a big leap of faith. Most times you will find that if you leap the net will appear.
My last and most important lesson is something that I'm never too shy to write about, learning to love ourselves. We are all beautifully imperfect creatures. We make mistakes; we get lost, but if we continue to give self-love, we will always find our path.
Self-love is the greatest gift I have ever received. My world changed the moment I started to accept the person that I am.
Thank you for sharing this weeks thoughts with me. I feel so blessed to have such an opportunity to touch souls for just a moment.